Solar Senate Passes Daylight Saving Stimulus Package

A friendly reminder to Spring Forward … into yet another bailout — even the Sun is starting to feel the heat of the recession

Global Warming is bad enough for the Sun’s image, but not even the central orb has enough starpower to escape the recession. It’s cashing in on over 300 million American taxpayer hours to make up for the Fiscal Year 2009 Q1 losses, and to try and salvage what’s left of the FY09 Q2.

The Sun isn’t a rookie in the bailout game. In fact the Sun has gotten an annual bailout — equivalent to one hour per American resident — every year since 1918. However, the Sun manages to maintain decent credit by paying down the loan to cover American daylight consumption through the crucial Q1 of the Fiscal Year, and most of Q2.

How much longer can Americans continue this give-and-take permaloan solar situation? It’s not too clear, but rest assured you’ll feel better about the bailout — or find a way to rationalize it — in the near future. Sources say the Sun just scheduled a week-long detox/rejuventation/reinvention makeover at Salon du Burson-Marsteller — they’re on solar speed dial for situations like this.

In related news: Clocks, too, are feeling the bailout backlash from the Daylight Saving Stimulus Package; sources indicate they’ve added Kearns and Company to their list of PR representation as well.

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