Text-Door Neighbors — we don’t talk

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Even with my old school RAZR … I am so incredibly guilty of this

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In all fairness, I’m half deaf and probably couldn’t hear what you were saying anyway … so really I was doing you a favor by opting for texting over talking to you — no need to thank me, you’re welcome.

Plus, how much more entertaining would face-to-face texting be? It’s like “reality silent films,” like Live-Action-Chaplin

watch this space: talking is so last year. i think my friend’s grandma still talks to people … like the milkman, as she writes a letter, to send via pony express, to her friend — the dodo veterinarian — on the other side of the land bridge, about her pending patent on the wheel

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