Serving with Slaysia, Ep. 4

Popisodics, TK:LA

Asia… Asia, Asia: Asia. Is a very real thing. And reality will deal. In increasing measure. Well into the forseeable future. Asia is a Hollywood Renaissance. Black, Female, French, Bulldog. Serving for the stars. Slaying for life. Sitting sideways. Shading moonlight. Asia didn’t sign up for this, but — as a wise man once said: you don’t sign up for what you’re born into. Asia was born to slay for life and serve the light. Werk. It. Black. Sheesus. #amen

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I stole Mommy’s cellphone and will be posting photos all day long. I HAVE A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!” – @MissAsiaKinney 💗

Act 1: Serving “I’ll Worry About My Opposable Thumbs – You Worry About Your Data Plan” Realness

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I love to eat while I sketch my ideas for the fashionable puppy line I’m starting! 🎀

Act 2: Serving “Let Them Eat Couture” Realness

Britney Tweets 2007, Ep. 3

Anthropopogy // Culture, Media, Pop Culture, Popisodics, re:brand – America, TK:LA

because if ifs and ands were pots and pans there’d be no betta work for tinker’s hands, because pink wigs birthed millennial whiplash, because it’s the rhyme behind seasonal reason, because you’re not B and will never see it her way… because Britney didn’t have Twitter in 2007, because the traphaus was birthed in the wake of Kevin, because Miss Spears will remain the bad bxxch you’ll never know, because they shouldn’t have let her blackout the ‘net #work: nouveau decided to put on a show #luckystarswipgolden
 

III

because education was the motivation, because she blogged before it was cool, because she was an independent publisher in the midst of corporate media, because stellar evolution involves apparent collapse, because she may not have spoken the King’s English but still scribed the siren’s hymn, because well-before she dropped the scheiße en route to new Britney’s mission she bathed in capital H.I.M., because we voted her to be nouveau royalty in the midst of gop patriarchy, because she faced the fire for her fans while the Administration placed firearms and debt in their electorate’s hands…

because she wants you people to know she’s not perfect, she’s divine #godspeed

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Britney Tweets 2007: Ep. 2

Media, Pop Culture, Popisodics, re:brand – America, TK:LA

because if ifs and ands were pots and pans there’d be no betta work for tinker’s hands, because pink wigs birthed millennial whiplash, because it’s the rhyme behind seasonal reason, because you’re not B and will never see it her way… because Britney didn’t have Twitter in 2007, because the traphaus was birthed in the wake of Kevin, because Miss Spears will remain the bad bxxch you’ll never know, because they shouldn’t have let her blackout the ‘net #work: nouveau decided to put on a show #luckystarswipgolden

II

because there was no twitterverse then

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because once upon a time there were haircuts

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because there was nowhere else to be at 4pm every weekday

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#exohxo

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All of the Lights: Nicki Minaj & Katy Perry – Fireworks

Leitgeist Zeitgeist, Pop Culture, Popisodics, Soundtrek, TGRI, TK:NYC, TrapperKeeper

Turn up the lights in here, baby / extra bright, I want y’all to see this  / turn up the lights in here, baby / you know what I need, want you to see everything / want you to see all of the lights – Kanye West, “All of the Lights”

Once upon a rhyme two bubblegum nymphs lit up the pitch black pop sky with tales of teenage dreams and rose-colored weekends. Princess Katy Perry sang this year from atop her Golden Coast lollipop tower; while Dutchess Nicki Minaj led a brigade of bad Barbies across the hard candy-coated pop landscape. This year we saw the rise and reign of the psuedo-sexual siren; from adolescent dreams to Roman’s vengeful screams Katy Perry and Nicki Minaj exemplified both sides of Barbie – the pinup princess and the dutchess behind barbs. Amidst all of the flashing lights, these two were the fireworks that took fantastical flight.

Nicki Minaj opened the year launching feature after brilliant feature across star-studded tracks. She held court with the divas, the dons, and the du jours; throwing down with everyone from Mariah Carey and Christina Aguilera, to Rick Ross, Kanye West, Jay-Z, Eminem, Ludacris, Usher, and will.i.am. Co-sign after co-sign Minaj built hype and suffocated hearsay. Before long, it seemed as if the collective culture’s eyes were glued to Nicki’s rocketeering rise, awaiting with bated breath the halogenic blast of her solo debut; Pink Friday was the explosive result. The album is truly Minaj’s child, and capstoned her rookie year exceptionally well. It’s the pink hybrid hue between that clean white naive newness and raw red monstrosity; it’s the bridge between the come-up of the work week and the kick-back of the weekend, where Miss Minaj continues to blaze somewhere in between as the not-quite-a-babydoll-but-not-yet-a-boss.

Welcome to the Retirement Haus: Pre-VMA 2010 – Pretense and Predictions

Anthropopogy // Culture, Deconstruction, Media, Pop Culture, Popisodics, Soundtrek, TK:NYC, TrapperKeeper

That time of year again: Vidjo. MUZAK. Awords.

Pretense: I do love this time of year, but to be honest I’m feeling a bit less-than-enthused for the first time in my life (yep, pass the Geritol – it’s time for the early bird special #aarp). On one hand I feel like you can’t top last year – it just… it can’t happen; and to even fathom a thought entertaining any idea otherwise is, is beyond negligent and belittling to Pop logic, theory, and history. That said… let’s delve and dabble

So, to be completely honest: 1.) I’m still hungover from a punch-drunk-love affair with the 2009 VMAs, and 2.) MTV is no doubt still in come-down mode from the superlative high that was said ceremony. The 2009 VMAs capstoned an era – they were our “we went out like kings and queens” magnum opus. Now, we’re on the heels of the embodiment of all a Video Music Award ceremony should be: dictator to the following year in Pop Culture. Last year we saw a star rise from the dead and resurrect performance art as Pop – from the Grammys to the AMAs, from Bad Romances to Monster Balls, from Good Ass Jobs to Good Fridays, Beiber and iCarly, Russell Brand and Katy Perry, Imperial States of Mind… the list goes on, but however you slice it: the 2009 VMAs were the Pop pulse this year. After a showing like that, there’s nothing to do except sit back and bask in the brilliance of a job well done – enter VMA 2010.

The Beat: Sasha Obama’s Tax Records

Media, Politics, Pop Culture, Popisodics, re:brand – America, TK:DC, TrapperKeeper

This just in: Sasha Obama’s Diva defense was overruled when she could not legitimize being “the female version of a hustla.”

Brilliant Onion article —

sashonion

“Believe me, Ms. Obama, you will suffer the harshest punishment available under the law.”

Baucus went on to say that he was disgusted by the second-grader’s “ruthless greed, especially at a time when so many honest Americans have to go without.” According to witnesses, the chairman repeatedly demanded that Sasha respond to the charges before her and refrain from trying to dodge questions by playing with her pigtails, leaving to use the bathroom, and asking what “personable accountafrility” means.

“The fact that you keep looking over to your mother to find out what to say suggests guilt on your part,” Baucus said. “Well, young lady, I’m afraid you’ve run out of places to hide. The American people are finally going to get the explanation they deserve.”

“Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. You will not walk away from this, Ms. Obama.”

sasheli

[Charges] included Sasha’s failure to declare the weekly earnings she took in for helping to wash the dishes at night; several oral contracts the child entered into, whereby she received small stipends of taxpayer money for finishing all of her homework; and, perhaps most damning of all, the gifts she is said to have accepted from lawmakers, Cabinet members, and aunts and uncles visiting the White House on her birthday.

Still reeling from the controversy of having three of his Cabinet nominees investigated for owing back taxes, President Barack Obama attempted to distance himself from this latest situation.

“I’m sorry, but I barely know this woman,” Obama said during his testimony before the committee. “Apart from a few conversations we’ve had in the past eight years, I’d say she’s a complete stranger.”

Watch this space: Every good conwoman needs an accomplice —

… nah, too obvious — and what conman says “oh man,” like that? But wait, what’s that red in the corner of the helicopter shot — it couldn’t be

— from the looks of it Carmen is on the homework hustle with “‘Mr. Fuzzles’ and a ‘Professor Peanut Butter.'” Oh, Sasha’s good.