Serving with Slaysia, Ep. 4


Asia… Asia, Asia: Asia. Is a very real thing. And reality will deal. In increasing measure. Well into the forseeable future. Asia is a Hollywood Renaissance. Black, Female, French, Bulldog. Serving for the stars. Slaying for life. Sitting sideways. Shading moonlight. Asia didn’t sign up for this, but — as a wise man once said: you don’t sign up for what you’re born into. Asia was born to slay for life and serve the light. Werk. It. Black. Sheesus. #amen

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I stole Mommy’s cellphone and will be posting photos all day long. I HAVE A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!” – @MissAsiaKinney 💗

Act 1: Serving “I’ll Worry About My Opposable Thumbs – You Worry About Your Data Plan” Realness

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I love to eat while I sketch my ideas for the fashionable puppy line I’m starting! 🎀

Act 2: Serving “Let Them Eat Couture” Realness

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I get hooked up with the finest in puppy products, so I really have a knack for what’s quality. My vision is to find creative & functional ways for pets and their owners to bond!

Act 3: Serving “Function, meet Fashion; Conjunction Funcshion, meet the Finest Hook Up This Side of Neverland” Realness #creativerebelleion

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ORGANIC GRAIN-FREE LOCAL FARM INGREDIENTS are the best for our body and brain. That’s what I eat! That’s why I’m inspired to also create A Pet Food Line.

Act 4: Serving “GRAIN-FREE MEANS CAGE-FREE MEANS KANYE CAPS – LOCALS ONLY MEANS LOCALS ONLY: #CHICKENS” Realness

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After a sunny morning looking out for ‘Bunnies & Truffles’, I love sniffing around the rose garden for the latest luxuries!

Act 5: Serving “Cosmopolitan Coming-of-Age” Realness… where Botticelli meets the Bildungsroman #HereComesKojiCottontail #PigsLoveTruffles #MaturationStation

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Keep a look out for a special announcement. I’m the star of a new campaign for a major luxury fashion brand. You never know, I could grace the pages of Italian Vogue.

Act 6: Serving … I can’t… Look, at, that, face. The realness can’t be contained by quotation demarcation. Let’s note, though, that Asia has a diamond and pearl collar that serves “Loving Me Is Like Chewing On These” Realness. She has a purse. Asia, has a… gold clutch, that serves “Reverse Ownership” meets “More Studded V, Mother Monster Couldn’t Get Through To Me” Realness; while the collective spread gives pure “Champagne Meets Crystalline On The Solo Picnic Scene” and “Close Down Roseland, Open Up Rosegarden” meet “The Reality of Not Allowing This Face To Fool You – I Beg Of You, Please Realize Said State of All Proximal Realities” Realness, to the utmost… Um, and no – I know, but we can’t right now with the over-the-shoulder… it’s, it’s much too much… Asia knows the collective sentiment.

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SWS Ep 4 A7

I love reading high fashion magazines and invisioning the clothes & accessories in dog sizes for my Pet Clothing Line

Act 7: Serving “Hold Your Head High, Paws (Figuratively Considering) To The Sky… They Gon’ Try to Try Ya, but They Can’t Deny Ya #keepitmovinghigher” with an incomparable dose of “For the Stars, For the Gods, Honoring For the Selfie Nation” Realness … and a side of “The Only Time I Envision ‘En’ before a ‘V’ is when I’m Freeing My Mind with 90s R&B #Invision #EnVogue” meets “My Champagne Glass Remains Half Full, I Am Puppy Ambition – Never Thirsty #sipstea.” #educationisthemotivation #readupchildren

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In the afternoon, I go for a ride. I have SKIN & FOOD ALLERGIES, 💁 so I’m an expert in the most PROTECTIVE, COMFY, & STYLISH FABRICS FOR DOGS. Sometimes even Mommy’s jealous of my l👀ks! … 🎀👛🌂💄👠👑💎

Act 8: Serving “Keep In Mind That I’m An Artist – And I’m Sensitive About My Skin” meets *”Applause” VEVO Certified Voice* “that scene – my dog” Realness with a daughter dose of “some Eliza Doolittle realness. My life is cinema.” Realness. Um, and again – can’t even with the diamonds (crystals?) in the ears… she hears you loud and alchemically (Swarovski?) clear… girl’s best doublegem twins #SecretSafe

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After a long day of work, laying in the roses, trolling the chicken coop, & walking on the town. I get a nice bath that is gentle on my skin with warm towels that keep this short-hair happy!

Act 9: Serving “Planet Billy GOAT Plush” Realness #ShortAndSweet #KeepItRealDotDotDotClean

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Once in a while I even get aroma-therapy massage and it really helps me wind down if I have an itchy day! Mommy and I can recommend all sorts of soothing remedies.

Act 10: Serving “Scent of a Recommendation” meets “Soothe You Can Use” Realness

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I can’t wait to share even more of my ideas. Look out for even more about me on littlemonsters.com! I can’t speak, but I try my piggy best to show “Thank you” and “I love you” with my eyes. Every dog is forever a puppy and should be loved like one.

Act 11: Serving “Eye Saw The Sign” meets “Hush, Puppy Love” Realness

(… Meanwhile, on Planet Fainting Goat, I’m serving “I just came to littlemonsters.com to have a good time, and ever since they kicked me off – for what I assume to be underutilization of said platform – I’m feeling really attacked, and bullied, right now” Surreality… neither here nor there, just a parenthetical aside. #placemodspleaseadvise)

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Watch This Space: … and those Brown Eyes.

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