HOW CAN YOU READ THIS? THERE’S NO PICTURES!, Ep. 1: The Crossroads, Laurel Canyon + Mulholland Drive

Vinyl Mind Flow

VINYL MIND FLOW #OKGO

I riffed on Laurel Canyon and Mulholland Drive into a recording device for eight minutes and forty-nine seconds: this is the verbatim transcription.

Okay, fifteen minutes. I’m at Mulholland and Laurel Canyon. So, I guess the most fitting thing for me to do at this point would be to talk about what Laurel Canyon and Mulholland mean to me. Fifteen minutes. So we’re on the clock, and we’re twenty seconds in: so, to me, Mulholland Laurel Canyon is just The … I wanna say The Fame. Oh. I wanna say The Fame, but it is fame: it’s American fame. What is The Fame to me? Mulholland and Laurel Canyon are Hollywood. It’s Cal – it’s … we’ll figure it out together.

Laurel Canyon is the Hippie Movement, right. It’s this, y’know, makeshift cobblestone ver– y’know, sloping – It’s… this canyon. It’s a canyon. It’s a cavity. It’s a cavity; but it’s the vein, and it’s the artery at the same time. Y’know like, you get traction. Y’know Laurel Canyon is the Hippies, is the Sixties, it’s the counterculture. It’s Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison. Umm, it’s an odd counterculture. It’s very calm and weathered. And then you’ve got Mulholland, which is fame to me.

Vinyl Cut Prose: Britney Jean

Soundtrek, TK:LA, Vinyl Cut Prose

I’ve spent the past two years since Femme Fatale mastering the art and science of global media and communication with Britney as my canon. I don’t really need to prove anything, and apparently neither does she; because Britney Jean founds and finds itself in that, it breathes … I appreciate Britney Jean.

Holding the thread close to a dream, while intelligence becomes the steal
For what if gold, showed token sold, while manners abright and rightfully bold
Make a wish, a princess dream, unfold the map, a small lil bean
To vanish the air and trace out the new, so scared to love, so soon who knew
Beautiful voice creeps in my head, only one person person can wear this red
Traces behavior, young and small; I see land, I must fall

 – Britney Jean

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Linger in the legacy… intelligence as the steal is Britney Jean – no, she is not Gaga, nor Madonna, nor is hers the aspired claim on their cerebral domain, that knowledge which detaches one from visceral humanity… that spark to light the first morning star. Yet, only one can wear the red, the Scarlet Letter Britney dons instead… And so seeing land, she must fall; that grounding rooting the human and iconic plight – from dust we came and to dust we return, no matter how high the peak flight.

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This is the record of someone who’s already been where you want her to stay, but that’s the point – you can’t evolve, and still return to that place unchanged. But you’ll never see it that way, because you’re not she.

Revealing itself much like a sunset over the Hollywood Hills we have an aural venture through lightly hued layers of majestic technicolor faded, ascending as a systematic rise within the naturally spectacular, muted neon chromatic escalating to the heavens, forever rooted in the Canyon, steady upon the capitalized moniker of America’s finest institution – studio stardom.

VMA Day 2013 – Four Butterflies to Watch #heylookamonarch

Soundtrek

Honeymoon isn’t even the furthest stretch of one’s falsified imagination when it comes to the Video Music Awards since 2010 #generous This year, I …. okay, I don’t actually know half of the nominees, and I might not have heard of 75% of the songs, but I can pick up a pattern from a mile away #universallaw #fortherecord

No one can predict the future, but we can recognize the present – and that’s good enough for me. Four butterflies to keep an eye on when watching the monarchy tonight… #theeverythingelse

1.) [T]he renaissance of Pop Art and a Warholian world of blurred lines between reality and fantasy”

Sedgwick Germanotta

[T]angent. Point is: Edie said of herself something that resonates so deeply with GaGa tonight, “if you just listened to what I had to say it was sane, but if you just looked at me you wouldn’t bother to listen. And none of them did. God it was a nightmare.” There isn’t that futility with GaGa, but the nightmare is quite apparent. Performance artists live their art — completely. The world is their canvas — truly. Where the art succeeds, the artist suffers, but it is for the sake of art — even if only for art’s sake.

2013:

2.) Jimmy Timberlake 

SnappScenes: Lady Gaga, “Applause”

A.V Hub, Soundtrek, TK:LA, Vinyl Mind Flow

I live for the applause, applause, applause – I live for the applause-plause, live for the applause #paws

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What I loved about Alejandro

This is the drop after the first waves and floods: I’m not here to talk about her facial features, or how to convert atheists into believers; I’m just saying that somewhere in the midst of a[n] indie short film, and a scene-by-scene homage to immaculate conceptions – and collections – lies a near perfect Pop music video period. Is pastiche supposed to be coherent? It is now – let’s delve.

What was lambasted in Born This Way

I don’t know where to begin or end with this one… and I suppose that’s the best way to be – as there is no beginning or end to the perpetual renaissance What artists do wrong is they lie, what critics do wrong is they try; I’m not going to try and pretend I know every conceptual reference here, nor analyze from a detached place of fault-and-fact finding – this isn’t about Pop cheat sheets and checklists… I’m just going to riff on what I know for me, and what I see

What lingered along the fringes of Scheiße

Lady Gaga broke her notoriously extended hiatus, premiering her first mastered piece of “new music” … Those two years of antagonizing anticipation culminated into the club-pulsing climax … Forget the fact that this may or may not be what you wanted to hear from someone about whom you may or may not give a scheiße – ether that; from start to finish, career and current track, no one – no one female Pop body – can produce: produce, what Gaga can. Line after line, time after time: perfection – the wait is always worth it.

There’s the flawlessly deft production we’ve come to expect from the Haus mother … stratospheric synth, deep bass, smooth distortion, uncannily human reverb pulsing the cacophony. Gaga lends her voice as an added layer, as much a part of the score as the bevy of inanimate instruments behind her

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Lady Gaga has solidified her sonic aesthetic and social impact – and they are one in the same. If the backbeat pulses harder than my own heartbeat, why not dance together? This is cold technology and hot harmonies, sheer energy, factory fashion, raw humanity, grime, graffiti, and glitterbombs; this is stream-of-consciousness that doesn’t make sense now, but will before the rest of the globe makes sense of itself: this is 31st Century schizo world – welcome Haume.

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Is what lays the foundation for “Applause:” The pulse as nothing more, and never anything less, than the traverse between polarity

– once you know the system’s rhythm, all that’s left to do is choreograph the rendevous #multiversallyspeaking

#snappit

Ms. Education – Neurotic Society (Compulsory Mix)

SnapTrakks, Soundtrek, TK:LA

mlh-ns-cm

neurotic-society

We’re living in a joke time, metaphorical coke time
Commerce and guru men, run the whole world man
Broke world and debauchery, old world brutality
Cold world kills softly
Whole world works savagely
Greedy men and pride fiends program TV screens
Quick-scam and drag queens
Real life blast fiends
Think twice this past dream

The Re-Branding of America: Kid and Sean Pen a PSA…

TK:LA

Fellow Americans, it is with the utmost pride and sincerity that I present this recording, as a living testament and recollection of history in the making during our generation.

Let me tell you dudes what I do to protect this: I shoot at you actors like movie directors [laughing] This ain’t a movie dog

Kid Rock and Sean Penn would like to borrow a moment of your time and illustrate the grave importance of overlooking the narcissism of minor superficial demographic differences in light of the larger union we share as an American people… that while the differences we hold as private citizens are what made this country great, it is the collective freedom granted to the public which defines those who call the United States home… celebrities: because they’re just like U.S.

The Re-Branding of America: On the curious case of Mitt & Paris’ Publicized Privacy

TK:LA

“Mitt Romney” and “Paris Hilton” are going hard-press-in-the-paint right now. Note the quotations, because when it comes to celebrity and public figuration: there’s the brand, and then there’s the (wo)man… here, beyond the (yet-to-be-determined) human factor behind the individuals, their enterprises are functioning like well-oiled machines.

It’s kind of like best week ever, right?

Paris is a mistress of the mishap-turned-publicity-masterpiece, Romney is not far behind in his ability to grab headlines with oddly well-staged gaffes.

The past week has seen both go viral with unsurprisingly on-par brand pushes: Romney doesn’t care about untaxed people, and Paris “Puddle of AIDS” Hilton thinks gays are gross… in other news: citizen paparazzi caught The Cookie Monster smuggling Snickerdoodles packaged as Sprouts’ Summer Squash into his Sesame Street penthouse…

So how does one figure these “mishaps” and “private conversations” gone public play as brand determinants and not character detriments… let’s delve a bit #itsaprocess

On the curious case of celebrity and contemporary culture…

TK:LA

Celebrity serves the purpose of highlighting otherwise opaque social relations, conflicts, concerns, and realities. That which is the fueling, seemingly banal everyday existence of the masses doesn’t manifest itself into anything of social significance until an icon framed to represent and vividly portray the beautiful burden of an attributed demographic brings it into public discourse.

The celebrity brings with it an entire economy. It is the commodity, the product and property of a corporate entity, a media monarch within the greater sphere of private ownership of a public institution – a public figure within capitalist society. Money, power, and reference run through iconographies.

Equally, celebrity brings with it an entire ideology. It is the character, the product and property of a ruling class. It may reinforce, resist, reject, or repudiate the standing social order. It is also the product and property of the masses from which it emerged, and which it directly influences and impacts – it is the manipulated mouthpiece of an increasingly superficially divided monoculture.

Collectively, the celebrity is the glue which holds together the real and ideal, the producer and the product, the dominant and resistant, the private and the public.

The celebrity sphere is a stage; lone figures act as pieces of a not so much puzzle as a chess board – white/black, soldier/sovereign, pawns and monarchs as symbols of the social classes to which they have the role of playing dual servants: as owners and as slaves.

What celebrities do are not personal acts, they are public displays of hidden banal behaviors. Epithets, for instance, are contemporary conversation pieces, slander is the modern standard language. What was a moot point, what was an actively apathetically accepted atrocity, and debatable defamation pulsed postmodern society in the form of language – that most vulgar, the vernacular.

Lyrically Speaking: “Baptized in Blacklight” – Kenna

Soundtrek

Good music speaks volumes… rather than impose analysis, step back and expose linguistic artistry… why critique that which has achieved perfection at its own masterful conception… listen, look, and linger in fantastic rhythmic reality: lyrically speaking

Lyrically Speaking: “i” – Nicola Roberts

Soundtrek, TK:LA

Good music speaks volumes… rather than impose analysis, step back and expose linguistic artistry… why critique that which has achieved perfection at its own masterful conception… listen, look, and linger in fantastic rhythmic reality: lyrically speaking

I’m scared of dying and not trying, scared of getting old.
I’m scared of telling lies ’cause karma comes and eats me whole.
I’m scared to think about the devil ’cause he takes my soul.
I’m scared of parties, scared of nightmares, scared I’ll lose control.
I don’t like druggies, don’t like bad men, don’t like bitchy girls.
Don’t think it’s healthy holding grudges that won’t save the world.
I don’t like nasty words, they hurt me like you never know.
But don’t think I won’t put on a smiley face and do the show.

Re-Branding America: “It must be the shoes!”

TK:LA

When I grow up I want to be famous, I want to be a star, I want to be in shoe-vies

Nicole knows that just because California is broke, her ankles don’t have to be. Hopefully more stars on and off the court will take heed

Broke ankles are the leading cause of being broke for young stars. Dancers are equally prone to broke ankles as ballers — just ask MC Hammer, who wasn’t aware of the ankle insurance package when he shuffled his parachute pants into bankruptcy. You don’t even have to be “on your feet” to be afflicted though, ask Lindsay Lohan. Her Ferragamos just weren’t enough support on that fateful Summer’s eve of evasive driving; broke ankles, broke people.

Still not convinced? Fair enough. One final note though: broke ankles break people, and they break their dreams — anywhere, any time. Even aimless wanderers are susceptible: en route from one bar to the next pub, or public phone — I don’t judge — and bam! Snap, crackle, pop goes the ankles. What starts as a simple lack of proper shoe support and stability

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becomes

the-wino

was it Fielder-Civil; or was it the shoes?

Broke ankles. Broke people.

But it doesn’t have to end it tragedy, just look at Mr. West. With ankle insurance like his, no wonder they call him Mr. By-his-self-he-so-impressed — him and these fine fellows

And ladies, don’t let dresses get in the way of security. What is the only thing these three had missing when they got out of the car (other than their knickers):

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ankle insurance. Heels + dress + car insures nothing — except a tabloid scandal. Luckily, dresses are covered in the insurance plan.

Watch this space: From style to safety — whether showstoppin’ or ankle poppin’ — look no further than your feet, because it always comes down to the shoes — literally.

eHarmony member #612679: Lindsay Lohan

TK:DC

yes. pop’s teflon donatella: looking for love, someone to spend the rest of her life with — or, at least, the rest of her probation with

I would describe my personality as creative — I’m  a bit of a night-owl. I’m a workaholic; I’m a shopaholic … and according to the State of California: an alcoholic — as well as a threat to all security guards, if they work at hotels.

Watch this space: you can’t catch her, she’s the gingerhead girl

All-Time Vilest Villans in Pop Culture … Honorable Mention: MTV

TK:ATL

Words and Good Thoughts: What Happens When Archived Posts Get Hosted On New Themes… i.e. What Happens When Your Links Die #LifeAndDeathOfDigitalArchives P.S. The Words and Good Thoughts Remain #readupchildren

Really? Well, seeing as it is pop culture I’ve got a few honorable mentions after the jump …

I

“Honorable” Mention(s):

Ringtones:


Now anyone can be an artist — I’m looking at you Soulja Boy

Obviously no culture there, but I think I can hear the Pop — wait, no … no, that’s just what’s left of his career – thought I had something there, alas

Tweens:

II

they dictate the next big thing in pop culture — and are every marketer’s dream demographic …

Tweens. They’re a hot market, they’re complicated, and there are two in the White House: Sasha and Malia Obama. What do tweens consider cool? Music was at the top of the list, followed by going to the movies. “Being smart” ranked third tied with video games followed by electronics, sports, fashion and protecting the environment, according to a report.

so, i guess be on the lookout for vampires that protect humans, are really cool, and are immune to garlic, wooden stakes to the heart, and sunlight

III
MTV:

IV
case rested. Reality TV — my bad “Reality Drama,” thanks MTV! Just what I wanted … like the gift, that keeps on … keeps on giving … and taking

Case not rested, MTV deserves more than that. MTV is the baddest most vilest villain on the Pop Culture block; it owns the block, it’s bigger on the block than Jenny — and that’s big. That said, the state of pop culture reflects on MTV; the state of pop culture now is about bank statements, not making statements. Thanks MTV.

Watch this space: someone call Andy quick, and better call Edie for backup; Pop is only a few weak fads away from life-support — well, that or a permanent conservatorship a la the one and only …

Call me Casper the Friendly Ghost-Tweeter

TK:DC

I could say it better myself — but not just yet

What’s the solution? These people all need professional help. But since they’re unlikely to spend the time they need on the psychiatrist’s couch, they’ll doubtless end up hiring assistants adept in social media. Ghostwritten Twitters are the hot new Hollywood must-have.

Every tweet will be media-coached. Every blog will be relentlessly edited — and then have typos inserted for authenticity. (Is that why someone pretending to be Rachael Ray consistently misspelled the cooking-show personality’s name on a Yahoo blog?) The kids who are pretending to be celebrities on Twitter today will no doubt get paid to do it in the future.

Watch this space: never underestimate the substance beneath the stylish smoke and mirrors, there’s jobs to be saved – and plenty more to be made – in this digital age …

Oh those pesky boys and girls … always begging to seek amy

Soundtrek, TK:DC

At long last – for those who cared, namely: multifarious persons named amyangry radio producers, myself – Britney Spears’ new video for “If U Seek Amy” dropped today …

American Beauty + Britney Spears + Pies + Kate Trask + Funhouse/Madhouse + Mad Men + Justify My Love + June Cleaver = “If U Seek Amy”