Re-Branding America: Texas Board of Education Rewrites U.S. History

Politics, Pop Culture, re:brand, Uncategorized

History is said to be written by the victors (read: 1. America always wins – even when we lose – because we said so, and 2. we don’t have time to read up on “world history” because we are the world, and we don’t care about his story because our story is the only one that matters). That said, Texas has decided to chop-and-screw said history because, well, they felt like it. The Texas State Board of Education (other than the state sanctioned “disciplinary tool” – a  large piece of plywood with an “edjewkashun” inscription) voted 10-5 to

“inject conservative ideals into social studies, history and economics lessons that will be taught to millions of students for the next decade,” requiring teachers “to cover the Judeo-Christian influences of the nation’s Founding Fathers, but not highlight the philosophical rationale for the separation of church and state. Curriculum standards also will describe the U.S. government as a ‘constitutional republic,’ rather than ‘democratic.'”

So here’s ten things I didn’t know about US History until Texas told me so (read: 10 things that will replace Pluto’s existence in your kids’ curriculum/ 10 more things other than Twitter, Justin Bieber, and Texts from Last Night that you won’t be able to talk about with your kids at the dinner table).

The Re-Branding of America: What Happens When You’ve Got None

Politics, Pop Culture, re:brand

Glenn Beck. Oh Glenn. This edition of Ad a Day focuses on the lack thereof — and Glenn makes it so easy to teach this lesson. Talking heads get paid for talking; they can say just about anything they want because people tune in to see them, well, say whatever it is they say in that special way. In Glenn Beck’s case, “that special way,” is crazy. He spoke crazy so well, even the New York Times had to take notice. The more people watch a show, the more companies will pay to sponsor said show. In Glenn Beck’s case, companies were shelling out money hand over fist to sponsor crazy — and to think, when you went to AA you couldn’t pay anyone to sponsor your crazy — but he broke the one cardinal rule of craze-tainment: never take your crazy seriously — then people will know you’re seriously crazy. Namely …

The Re-Branding of America: Real World Cancun

Politics, Pop Culture, re:brand

MTV is at it again like Timbaland & Magoo with “The Real World: Cancun”

To me, this is the perfect locale for The Real World right now. Cancun brings the fun, sun, drama, flash, pizzaz, fantasy island-esque feel that “The MTV Generation” is notorious for gobbling up with an insatiable greed.

I still remember being a young ladette entranced by the tropical glow of MTV’s Springer Break — y’know to get back to the true meaning of Easter, being on holiday break and all … bearing witness to the fact that even today after death (blackouts, reputation-killing escapades broadcast nationwide, etc.) anyone could arise three days later — albeit to their respective homes or college campuses where a probation citation would await any Spring Breaking student …

The Re-Branding of America: See, there’s hope for the bullied kids yet …

Politics, re:brand, TrapperKeeper

Glenn Beck. Rising star. — no, that’s not right. Glenn Beck, rising star?! — that’s more like it.

I mean with a glam-fab head shot like that, how could he not be a rising star? Not to mention his on-screen presence …

Plus he’s been doing it for years. It hasn’t always been easy, but he had to take what Diddy calls the “Rihanna Road,” where progress is a slow process. Beck’s been nose to the grindstone forever, I suppose it is about time he see the fruits of his labor …

Not everyone can support Global Warming as the world’s biggest scam …

or stand on the same pedestal of political pre-eminence as Ann Coulter …

or make candy bars come out of their butts?

or be creepy …

all the time …

but that’s called moxy and moxy makes it to the top.

Watch this space: Especially, if you’ve never seen a star on the rise. I’ve been watching this space forever, but I liked it better when it was called Public Access Television.